afraid

Hi! I am Rena Monique B. Calip. But my family, friends and relatives used to call me Rena, Monique, Nique, Nica, Monica or Ta. I’m 18 years of age. I am from Kiamba, Sarangani Province but right now I am living here at General Santos City. My parents were both working at Kiamba as a municipal employee.  I have 4 siblings. We’re all 5 but then again I’m not the eldest. I am the second to the last child. We’re all girls. Maybe that’s the reason why I am eager in having a boyfriend or a guy friend because I want to feel how to be loved by a guy except of course my dad. I just mean that the love of a brother. Yeah, I do have a lot of guy cousins but then again they all had their own lives now with their families. Though I had also guy cousins which are young but then I wasn’t able to be with them as always because they’re also busy with their own lives. Well, then I am going to tell my love story that was I thought will last forever and I thought that my love story was one of the fairy tales I was watching before at the television when I was a kid. But unfortunately, as what I have observed fairy tales were only seen on the televisions and can only be experience in our dreams and not in reality. I am not saying that there is no such thing as happy endings or happy ever after but I just want to say that maybe fairy tales aren’t real because I haven’t experienced it yet. Though I know one day I’d be able to meet that knight in shining armor or prince of mine but I guess there’s no such thing as fairy tales because life isn’t perfect. All of us will go through sufferings and pains but then it’s up to us how we’ll going to handle those things in a right way. And it’s up to us how we’re going to pass all of those challenges we encounter. Though in fairy tales there’s also sufferings and challenges but then it’s almost near to perfection and life isn’t going to be that way because in life you’re going to encounter a lot of things which we could say beyond our control.  Honestly, I get jealous of those old couples who still remain strong together and could keep their promises to each other that only death can separate the of them. I am really hoping that one day I am going to meet that someone whom I could depend on and could promise the words “till death do us part”. I know that I still have to wait for that someone for so long but then again I know that when I am going to meet him in the future the wait and sacrifices will be worth it. I may not have a special someone right now but in time I know he will come into my way and will stay in my life forever, if not here on earth, then maybe in heaven will do. But for now I am going to enjoy my life as an individual so that I won’t be regretting things in the near future. I know that I am still in pain right now but in due time it will disappear and I will be able to get over it and be fully okay. All I am going to do right now is to accept that there are some things or people that will just pass our lives and will leave us many lessons so that we’re going to learn and become wiser the next time around. That will leave us scars so that we can always remember that once we had loved and cared for someone and let someone enter our lives and trusting them not to hurt us.